just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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