Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
