I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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