Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
