Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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