Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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