I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
