idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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