My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
