I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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