forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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