i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
