so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
