Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
