We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
