this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
