He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i came on her dog
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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