I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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