Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
