What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
