and next time when you feel me up, do it right
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
