He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
