im about as happy as oj after his trial
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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