I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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