Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
