My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I am puke
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
