We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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