Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
