ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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