I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
