hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
