Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
