Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
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I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
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Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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