So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize