I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
My feet surprised me
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