You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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