I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
