Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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