do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize