i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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