I'm gonna have a badass scar
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
