Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
