My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
