I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
3 2 1 whiskey
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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