everyone is single if you try hard enough
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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