How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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