i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
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