Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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