apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
