How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
