the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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