Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
