thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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