Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
