I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Randomize
